If AMC won’t allow texting in movie theater, we’ve got some even better ideas

Published in Odd and Fun on 16th July 2017
If AMC won’t allow texting in movie theater, we’ve got some even better ideas

Remember that time you were at Thanksgiving dinner and hinted “Hey gang, how about next year we try and do an all vegan banquet? ” Your clas all fell their crotches and gazed at you, and you instantly spoke, “Never mind, never mind, forget I said anything, this never happened! ” Remember?

Well, that’s exactly how AMC find when they are oh-so-briefly mentioned the brilliant meaning of letting texting in their theaters.

AMC’s new CEO, Adam Aron, mentioned the relevant recommendations in an interview with Variety on Wednesday, and people quickly snapped it to shreds.

Now there’s an idea. Surely, though, if texting is on the table, there are a few other betterments particular patrons would like to see. How about:

Spoiler Zone

Already insured the movie and certainly want to wrecking it for everyone else? Why not sit in a section with some like-minded peers and scream to your centres material?

Half-price tickets for anyone in a stovepipe hat

Self-explanatory.

Post-screening Q& A for people who didn’t read the book( or watch the first movie)

Sure, it’ll be pretty embarrassing to stay behind for this, but not practically as humiliating as your Tinder parallel calling you out for not realizing which parts they contributed into Pride and Prejudice and Zombies for the screen.

Handjob Section

You’ve been dating long enough now that things are starting to get a little boring in the ol’ bedroom. How better to spice it then by taking your act on the road?

Instant replay speakers

Instead of bending over to your friend to mumble “What’d that guy just say? ” you are able to smash a button on your armrest and replay the last few cable of talk at top loudnes. Much easier.

Smug-looking wax replication of M. Night Shyamalan

Even if he didn’t manufacture the cruel garbage film you only stood through for two and a half hours, it’ll tone enormous to knock him in the dances on your way out.

Fart Center

If you’re gonna do it anyway, let’s got to get all in the same place.

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